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Electric Beast: Political Blog [2011] - review by Brian





01/17/50 – Wednesday – 6:45 PM from phone
The Metal Cancer is NOT Benign!

All right, America, it's time we had a serious talk.

Just how far do we need to slide before you realize you've hit rock bottom? First it was abortions, then it was gay rights, and now cyberian rights? Seriously? Have we forgotten what happened the last time the cyberians got their freedom?

I was just listening to the news the other day and they got this exhibit opening up at the Smithsonian that supposedly casts a fair and balanced view on the mistreatment of the cyberians. How did we mistreat them, exactly? Was it when we invited them into our homes? Gave them jobs? Gave them purpose? Is that where we went wrong? Sometimes it seems like this country is always going to hell in a hand basket, but I'll never leave it. I'll never turn on it because I love my country and I am a true American, the last of a dying breed next to Rush Limbaugh, Jr. and Reverend John Leary. Speaking of the old Rev, him and I got to talking one night after one of the most spirited three hour sermons I was blessed to sit through. Among our usual discussion, occasionally interrupted by youths not donning their Sunday best, we turned our attention to the cyberians.

Folks, we are at war and no one wants to do what needs to be done. It's not a war over territory like the EU Proxy Wars, it's a war for our very lives, our very souls; America's soul. We are in the throes of one of the worst economic catastrophes in the universe and rather than lick our own wounds, trillions of dollars are being allocated just so those wind-ups can have a pot to piss in. Need I remind anyone reading this what those metal minorities did to us during the riots? And you want to just give them more money?!

The terrible truth, America, is that we simply can't afford to support the cyberians in our lower quarters. Now, I'm a man of integrity, and I answer for my mistakes and I admit that we brought them into this world, but they can't stay. Not if we, the original peoples, are to endeavor. The people on the Hill need to start making the tough calls they were elected to make and stop making the rest of us suffer for a bunch of sentient toasters who will never know the simple pleasures inherent to the true, superior race. It's time something was done about this Metal Cancer before it destroys the heart of this once-grand country once and for all.

Hollis out!

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